Welcome

Listen to 3 Doors Down, "Pages", and maybe you can figure out why I quit. A person bothers to put themselves out there, and no one bothers to care what they have to say, what do you expect.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Another Year

Well, basically another year is about gone. I've been thinking I might have 1 possible woman I could talk to. A few little problems.
First, She barely talks to me. It's not like she is anti-social, I'm just not one of those people she socializes with. The extent of our communication is usually if she was a cd of the pastor's teaching, and maybe a computer question. Pretty much like everyone else.
Second, that being the case, I don't know if she would be even open to the idea of being friends, or better, much less who/what she is looking for.
Third, she sort of inherited a baby from her sister. I have nothing against kids really, other than the times they annoy me, seemingly on purpose. It does present a certain, awkwardness for me.
Anyway, knowing a bit about the situation, this tells me she is at least a caring person, and has ethics. If that goes beyond "relatives", I'm not sure. The most we have talked was related to me getting a used computer fixed up for her, and when she might be able to pay for it. It's possible she is like every other woman I've come across lately, judgmental & close-minded when it comes to such things.
Yes, I can hear it, the "Just talk to her" speech. I don't see it as that simple. They way things are today, women can scream "sexist pig" if you look at them funny. Ironically, those are usually the ones that have there shirt open to their navel, and guys aren't suppose to look. I might seek a glace, yes, but I'm also interested in what makes them tick. You could say, I'm looking for beauty inside and out. For some reason, nice looking women are (more often than not), b!tches. Whatever the reason... Man haters, standards are too high, or just plain too low (only want "to have fun"). A nice looking woman around my age, with a functional brain, that isn't already with some guy I wouldn't trust as fair as I could throw him, seems to be impossible to find.
It is really too bad, I'd like to think I have something real to offer. But I'm too short, not wealthy, don't have a nice car, blah blah blah.
I still have a certain quote rolling around my head that seems to ring true... "Be who you are, say what you mean... Because those the mind don't matter, and those that matter don't mind." - Dr Seuss, I think. A pretty cool quote if you think about it.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Odds Are...

Seems like one of these days I'll find a real woman. With all the towns, lakes, and other populated areas around me, it seems like I could find someone. Of course, that is all assuming they use a computer and check singles sites... or maybe visit my church and happen to notice me. Some how I've got a feeling my odds would be better winning the lotto. How do I find someone that isn't where I am? Bars? Clubs? I don't drink, and those are all superficial, and I've already got the superficial issues with women online. What are my options? I don't know what else I'm suppose to do. I considered checking if I could put an ad in a local newspaper classified, but that would assume the right woman would read it. I don't think my odds are very good there, chances are I'd get spammed, harassed, or stalked.
The only thing I can see is God bringing the right woman across my path.... It has sort of happened before, just wasn't the right woman (crazy mental backstabbing b....)
*sigh* I've got my presence scattered online. I'm active in my church. I've done what I can, I'm pretty much just trying to filter out the spam and other undesireables. I drop a message to someone now and then that catches my interest, but nothing seems to come of them, I just get ignored.
As a quote I read once went... "Be who you are, mean what you say. Those that mind don't matter. And those that matter, don't mind."

Saturday, October 22, 2011

If only this really worked...

I came across this. I generally do not inflict this kind of thing on other people, just because I think it's BS. I don't really believe in karma, fate, whatever you like to call it. I do believe that someone can have unforeseen effects on those around them. A kind word, a helpful gesture, a phone call just to say 'hi, how are you', some little things can make or break a person's day. It is nice to wish, to dream, that maybe a certain someone might be paying attention, and something would happen. I'll strike out the parts I don't believe. Anyway, here it is...

"You opened it. Good luck. Tonight at midnight your true love will realize they miss you. Something good will happen to you between 1:00 pm and 4:40 pm tomorrow, it could be anywhere. Tonight at midnight they will remember how much they loved you. You will get a shock of a lifetime tomorrow, a good one. If you break the chain you will be cursed with relationship problems for the next 2 years. Karma. If there is someone you loved, or still do, and can't get them out of your mind, re-post this in another city within the next 5 minutes. Its amazing how it works. If you truly miss someone, a past love, and can't seem to get them off your mind....then re-post this titled as " I Truly Do Miss You" Whoever you are missing will surprise you. Don't break this, for tonight at midnight, your true love will realize they love you and something great will happen to you tomorrow. Karma. You will get the shock of your life tomorrow"

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Hopeless romantic dying here...

Not much new and interesting to report. I'm attempting to keep an ad on craigslist, it's the closest I can get to a newspaper posting, without paying for the ad. The problem with it is, crazy spam for 2-3 days after I post. I thought the free singles sites were bad, holy crap. I get every "woman" in the area wanting a sex partner, and I make it very clear on my posting it's not what I'm looking for. I guess they can't read. lol
Oh, the woman from my last blog, we sort of reconciled, though it was mostly me wanting to part ways on good terms for a change. We aren't talking anymore, though she does have my email. If she remembers or cares is another matter. I won't be wasting the time I paid for on that site again, what a joke.
'Here, I'll pay for you to neglect me, then finally get around to talking to me... oh wait, here comes the judgment.' What a joke that was. I tried, she barely pretended to.
Other than that, I can sum thing up like a friend did, and it fits. Pretty people are @sses.
Seems like everyone is looking for "Mr/Mrs Perfect". I'm trying to find "Mrs Right", and they don't seem to exist either. Well, not for me anyway. According to my Pastor, he has done more wedding this year, than in the years he's been back to Michigan combined.
Some days, that's about like rubbing salt on the wound. I am reminded of the song 'Someone Elses Star". I keep wishing, and someone elses keeps getting what I'm wishing for.
I some times consider what a date would be like. Nice meal at a small restaurant, go for a walk at one of my favorite parks, get to know each other...... Then I come back to reality, and reality sucks, because it's still just me.
Here is a good one. I was walking at one of my favorite trails, and this older couple comes from the other way. Course we say hello in passing and the fella asked "Where is your partner?" 'I wish I had one.' was more or less my first thought. I faked a smile responded "It's just me." There is something wrong when and older couple even thinks I should be with someone. As things stand, I don't know how to get there from here. It takes 2, and it seems to be just me trying.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

WTH?

Well, I thought I found a nice woman on this christian singles site. The profile sounded good, she had a few nice pictures that looked real. Long story short, it took her a week to get around to looking at my profile, then proceeded to beat me over the head with it, getting all judgement on me. The kicker is, in her own profile, she didn't want people to judge her, but her judging someone she barely knew was ok. I sent her a message pointing out what she said, and asking "Aren't you kind of holding a double standard here?" She claimed to be open minded too... Yeah, open minded, so long as ....
How do I keep finding these people? Is there an emotional kick-me sign on me or something? Why is finding someone to hard? I mean, I know it has to start as a friendship, that's fine, so long as we are both making an effort. But when I keep putting myself out on a limb, and they keep cutting it out from under me? What the He!!? Really?
I had one friend comment 'Are they pms'ing or something?' We chuckle, but it makes me wonder. How can I really have this much bad luck? This was a "Christian" woman, they should be better than this... key word, Should.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Trying again

After the scammer fiasco, and a few days of anger & frustration, I have started again. I have found a hand full of 100% free singles sites, and posted new profiles, refreshed old ones, etc.
I get what I pay for, but at least a couple of them are making efforts to stay on top of spammers/scammers. I'm also armed with my recent experience, and anti-spammer resources, I am taking no prisoners (so to speak). I've ruled out a number of spammers and attempted to report them, which one site tonight appears to have gotten on the ball, canceling a number of accounts that messaged me, so I went ahead a marked some more that messaged me with there emails addys, and made it obvious they didn't read my profile (even tho they said they did). I've also attempted to get a few women's attention, but haven't heard anything back yet. I'm hoping something comes of them one of them at least. I don't want to hit my 35 birthday alone again. It's a goal, just not sure if it's one that I'll accomplish.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Ok, I'm frustrated

Turns out the woman I thought was real was still a scammer. Used tamer pics of a porn star, and spouts a sob story. I thought since I'd already said I concerned about them being a scammer and they weren't going to get any money out of me, that they would have moved on. Why the kept the game doing is beyond me. Finally getting to talk to them on yahoo messenger, they conveniently lost my most important email, and almost got indignant about it. After talking about their mom, I asked how She was doing, and she says "Great." Talk about a blaring alarm. No one is "great" while dealing in cancer, especially family. That was the last straw, I did some searching, finally stumbling across a interesting scam site relating to meeting ppl online. After some noising around that site, I found a post that had one of the pics she, IT, gave me, and copies of emails very similar to the one I initially received. At first I was amused, then I wanted to hurt this jerk that made me spend money on the single site to read IT's messages, and made me make a yahoo account again, and continued to lie to me non-stop. Made me feel like an idiot. I knew something wasn't right from the start, but I gave IT the benefit of a doubt. No more. If I have to do background checks on women from now on, so be it. Week and a half of my life wasted on this @sshole. I made sure to report abuse on the yahoo account and facebook account I found. My bad day is their bad day. You don't mess with quiet guys, we snap. :) lol

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Faults alarm? Beats me...

Well, she has fallen off the face of the planet after send me a set of questions, which I answer as best I can, then say 'hey, these are pretty good, do me favor and answer these yourself, and here is a few more'. The paranoid part of me finds it an interesting coincidence. My more sensible side says maybe something happened and she is unable to get back. Problem is, I think it would have to be pretty serious, most likely with her mom. Would have been nice to get a 'hey, something came up, I promise I'll get back to you when I can'.
I took some new pictures of me, figured I'd send when she answered the questions, but I'm not even sure we are still on talking terms or not. I sent her a email a day or 2 ago, just asking if everything was ok. I even happen to find her on facebook, and sent a friend request. 5 days of silence. I'd been exploring my feelings, trying to get a better grasp of what I wanted in a relationship, what I could offer, and where I'd maybe need some help (be it from her or someone like my pastor). This is kind of a learning experience for me, I'm effectively starting from scratch on the whole relationship/dating deal, and trying to keep my bad experiences out of the way. Now I kind of feel like I'm on indefinite hold. I don't like being in the dark on what is going on.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Good news, maybe...

Well, maybe I finally get to claim some good news for a change. I've come in contact with what seems like a nice girl. There are a few things that my mind is snagging on. The first being that she grew up on Germany, lives in Michigan, but in currently with her sick mom in Malaysia. First reaction was a scammer of some sort. When I kindly pointed out my concern, her reaction to that and a few other things seemed genuine. My experience, scammers cut their losses and disappear, try to find an easier mark elsewhere. They also provided a hand full of pictures between 2 sources, all look like the same person. All seems some what reasonable, accept when I come back to the Malaysia thing. Some thing seems out of place, but it could be that I am being a bit paranoid. The introduction didn't quite seem on the straight and narrow, seeing as though we met via a singles site, which said she was in Michigan, no indication that her status had changed. That just seems important too me.
She seems serious about a relationship, and the current distance doesn't seem to bother her like it does me. I'm trying to push down my paranoia, and see how it plays out. I've laid out on the table my concerns, and explained my single status, hinting on my past bad experiences, and didn't seem to phase her, saying she understood what I was saying.
I really hope this isn't one of those 'too-good-to-be-true' type deals, part of me is waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

People, grrr...

This kind of goes with an earlier post I believe I did about dishonest people.
Lately people have been showing how shallow they are in an online MMO game I play, and of course the way my mind works, I draw parallels to people I know in real life that were at least semi-close to me, and now they don't actknowledge I'm alive. The way things have been playing out lately is this... A few friends and myself moved from one MMO to another partly because the first was full of bullies, scammers, and other assorted low lifes. Now it seems like more low lifes have found this new game we are in. And some keep coming into our guild seeming nice and helpful, and then back-stabbing us later.
Now I know it's only a game, I say it myself, but consider this... if they are like that in a game, what are they like in real life? If you can't count on them in a game (where the level of commitment is fairly low), it would stand to reason they are the same way in real life. If they can't show loyalty to a group of people in a game, can they do it in real life? I doubt it. Since people don't talk with me a great deal, I've learned to read actions. I'm loyal almost to a fault, and it seems that I'm one of the few. It seems like people in general are more interested in what they can get (even if it's only 1's & 0's in a computer) rather what they can share. Connecting with people is more valuable to me than any THINGS (digital or otherwise) I could get. Things are fun to play with, but they do wear out (physically or in your mind).

Monday, February 28, 2011

I'd like nothing more...

I would really like to come on my blog with some good news for once. One thing that I think would be note-worthy is getting to say 'I finally found my other half!', or even 'A real woman actually talked to me!' or *insert other corny comment here*. It just doesn't seem to be possible.
It amazes me how many fake "women" there seem to be on singles sites, even more that they don't actually say anything about themselves. Why would I take someone seriously when they don't even pretend to fill out a profile? At best they post a couple pictures, then message me thinking I'm going to drool over there picture and send a message back. Been there, done that, turned out to be a joke. As I've said, I was born, but not yesterday... I would really like to be treated like a human being by a real woman (what a concept).
I really don't like the idea, but I'm about ready to just accept the fact that I am going to be single the rest of my life. There just doesn't seem to be any other option that doesn't go against my morals.